Big Time Sickfic: Dear Camille
by RomioneAlways51
Summary: Logan was so good at writing, but when his class is asked to write to Camille in the hospital, will Logan find the right words to say? Will he have his girlfriend back by his side? Terrible review, sorry. Inspired by A Rose With Many Thorns' 'Memories of Jade' and Miss Fenway's 'Little Hollow' Lomille and BTR friendship. K just in case. Please give it a go, and review if you like
1. Chapter 1

**A/N: So, hey guys, this idea kinda popped into my head, and my inspiration for the story came from A Rose With Many Thorns' story, "Memories of Jade" and Miss Fenway's "Little Hollow" so kudos to those guys, for the awesome ideas and an extra thanks to Miss Fenway for her information (you'll see what I mean later, if you've read her stories) I hope you guys like it, and I'll be writing a similar (or not so similar, depending on how this one turns out) story about the guys so look out for that one. **

**Big Time Sickfic: Dear Camille**

**Chapter 1**

Logan remembered it like it was yesterday; the way she'd laughed, but the way it made his heartbeat quicken, the way he knew something wasn't right the moment he laid eyes on her that morning. She had been sick, he knew that, but Jo had said she was getting better, so why did Logan get the impression that she was getting worse? He remembered the way she had been furious the day she fell sick, he remembered her telling him that she just couldn't be sick, that she didn't have the time, because she had a big audition to rehearse for, so Logan had helped her. He'd spent almost all of his time in apartment 4J, nursing Camille back to health, sometimes waking up on the floor by the couch, turning over to see her lying just above him on the couch, her arm resting on a box of tissues. He remembered the way she'd been so frustrated with herself for being sick, how she could never sit still, even if she slept for most of the day. Still, Logan would prefer that any day to this, he'd give anything to have his girlfriend back, and not be having to write her a letter about how much he was going to miss her when she left them. He'd give his own life to have her healthy again, to not be watching her suffer.  
He'd give anything to have his girlfriend sitting beside him at that moment, anything to have her laugh with him, anything to see that spark back in her eyes. Sure, Logan was glad she was alive and safe in the hospital, but he'd to anything to turn it all around, to get the last few months back.  
These kinds of things just didn't happen to him, his life had been as average as it got before he met the guys, and even then, they were just hockey players. And then, of course they moved to Hollywood as Big Time Rush, and then everything had changed. What if he hadn't met Camille? The thought scared Logan sick, but maybe it would have been better that day, maybe she wouldn't have gotten sick. No, he was being stupid, he wasn't thinking properly; if he ever wanted to be a doctor, he needed to stop putting his feelings first. There was no way that not meeting Camille would have stopped her being sick, he was just being selfish; he knew he was only thinking this way because he wanted his own pain to go away, he didn't even _think_ about how Camille might be feeling. But that hurt; it hurt to think of Camille, it broke his heart to think of what she must be going through at the moment. Logan couldn't bear the thought of her condition getting any worse.

He stared down the blank sheet of paper in front of him, drumming his fingers on the table in frustration; words usually came to him, of the four guys he was always the one finished his book report first, and he was the one who helped James or Carlos when they forgot and panicked at the last minute. Writing was usually so easy for Logan, but what do you write to someone who's under constant surveillance at the hospital? What do you say when your girlfriend is being treated for blood cancer?

**A/N: Short, I know, sorry about that, but it's sort of a prologue, and I wanted to end it this way. Review? **


	2. Chapter 2

**A/N: I'm back, peoples! I would've updated yesterday, but I was shopping with my mum and sister. Anyways, for those who live in the States, how's having Windows Down on your iPod? It doesn't come out here in Australia until the 5****th**** of July. Also, did anyone see Big Time Returns? OMG Lomille is back together! That was probably my favourite episode, although I saw the promo for Bel Air Rush and it looks awesome, but they're moving out of the Palm Woods? What? **

**Oh! Hahaha I was about to upload chapter 3, God that would've confused you :)**

**REVIEWS: **

**Purples'npinks1352****: Thanks, and yeah it is a little sad, but hopefully you like it**

**TinyHandzRuleBD: Thanks, and yeah, sorry about that. It means so much that you already think this is going to be a good story, I'm not too sure about that myself, but we'll see how it goes, hey?**

**Marykateluvsu, Jeremy Shane and OnTheBrinkOfInsanity: Thanks so much**

**Here we go!**

**P.S The entire chapter is in italics, because it's a flashback, so if it bugs you, just let me know and I'll make the next flashback chapter in normal font.**

**Chapter 2**

"_Are you sure you'll be OK for your audition?" Logan asked, stopping Camille as she made to leave her apartment and looking her directly in the eyes._

"_I'm fine, Logan," she told him, smiling at his concerned expression "It was only a cold, and I'm definitely over it," Logan sighed._

"_OK, then, if you're sure," he relented, holding the door open for Camille and following her out. Camille was silent the entire taxi ride to the venue, and Logan was beginning to worry as she leaned her head against the headrest, her eyes closed. Logan placed a hand on her knee, and her eyes fluttered open as she looked over at Logan, who tilted his head slightly, concern filling his features. Camille smiled reassuringly, following Logan into the building after the cab stopped._

_She and Logan found two seats by the door, and Logan sat down while Camille paced nervously before him. He watched her reluctantly for a moment before giving in and getting to his feet._

"_Camille," he said gently "how about you sit down? You need to relax, OK? We've been practicing for weeks now; you have no reason to worry." he offered her his hand, and led her over to the seats, and she smiled weakly. _

"_Thanks, Logan," she said in a small voice as he put his arm around the back of her chair._

"_Anytime," he smiled gently. Camille was still and silent from then on, gazing intently at a spot on the floor. _

"_Camille Roberts?" the casting director called, peering around the door. Camille got up in a hurry, fixing her hair hastily before making to step forward. _

_It all happened in one moment, Logan had trouble keeping up; Camille stepped forward, tripped and fell. Logan tried to catch her, but it was too late, she was sprawled on the ground, her eyes closed, and Logan could swear he saw a puddle of blood under her head. Logan left his heart and stomach at standing height as he dropped to his knees beside her, and all rational thought left him as he felt for her pulse. _

"_Help!" he screamed, although there were people kneeling right beside him. He looked up to find that the casting director was on the phone with the hospital and her assistants were escorting people into another room. Logan turned his attention back to Camille, his hand still grasping hers firmly, his thumb pressed against her pulse, afraid that if he let it go, he'd lose her. She had become paler in the brief time Logan had looked away from her, and he felt his breath catch in his throat as he felt that she was growing cold._

_The paramedics arrived at that moment, shoving Logan out of their way as they lifted her onto a gurney. Logan walked hastily beside the gurney, holding Camille's hand. _

"_You're gonna be OK, Camille, don't worry. The doctor's gonna take care of you, and you're gonna be better soon, the doctor's gonna fix you, OK?" Logan knew he was being stupid, trying to talk to her; she couldn't hear him, but he couldn't help it; the words just tumbled out of his mouth. Logan made to climb into the ambulance beside Camille, but was stopped when a hand cut across his chest. _

"_Only family past this point," a male nurse said shortly._

"_Please, her family's not here, I'm the only one who's with her. Please, you gotta let me go with her, she's my girlfriend, and –" _

"_Fine!" the nurse cut him off, letting him sit on the bench beside Camille's gurney. _

_The ride seemed to last an eternity, and Logan was growing more and more nervous as he stood on shaking legs as he watched the paramedics wheel Camille into the hall and out of his sight. He allowed his legs to collapse under him and he fell into a hard chair in the waiting room. _

_He wrung his hands nervously, trying to breathe normally, and recall the past events in order; Camille being called, Camille getting up, then falling, the nurse telling him he couldn't stay if he wasn't family….family! That was it! He had to call Camille's dad! He pulled out his phone, but froze; he didn't know the number! He thought for a moment, his fingers hovering over the keypad of his phone, then it came to him. His fingers shook as he fought to dial Jo's number, and he waited impatiently, listening to the dial tone. _

"_Come on," he muttered as the phone continued to ring "pick up your damn phone!" Logan's heart sank, and he took the phone away from his ear, second guessing himself as he heard a faint "hello?" on the other end. "Jo?" he said hastily, his spirits lifting._

"_Hey, Logan, what's going—"_

"_Call Camille's dad and get him to the Hospital on Sunset now!" Logan cut her off, ignoring her affronted scoff._

"_Why? What's happened to her? What—?" _

"_Just do it!" Logan snapped shutting the phone and stuffing it back in his pocket before yanking it back out and dialling Mrs Knight's number. She was the closest thing he had to a mother in L.A at the moment, and although he hated to admit it, he needed a mother's hug right now. _

"_Logan, sweetie, what's going on? How's Camille's audition—?"_

"_Camille's in hospital, mama Knight," his voice shook as he spoke, this couldn't be real, there was no way this was happening "she c—collapsed at her audition, a—and I've just gotta wait till the doctor tells me w—what's wrong with her, and—"_

"_You want me to bring the guys with me to the hospital?" Mrs Knight asked gently. Logan thought for a moment, and found himself clutching his stomach with shaking arms,_

"_Y—yes, please,"_

**A/N: Much thanks to Miss Fenway and her story, 'Little Hollow' for her information about what happened with Camille at her audition. If you haven't read 'Little Hollow' grab a pack of tissues and go for it, it's really worth it, and I highly recommend any of her stories, but especially 'Little Hollow', 'Three' (sequel to Little Hollow) and 'Ohana'. And, I'm sorry it's a little short, I think they're all going to be like that. **

**That's all from me, till next time! **

**xoxoxox**


	3. Chapter 3

**A/N: OK, sorry, guys, it's been a while since I updated this one, but I wrote about half of this chapter and I got super stuck, so hopefully this doesn't completely fall apart. First I need to give 2 shout outs and thankyou's, so give me a bit.**

**First, to EmilyHenderson99, for reading all of my stories, and reviewing almost every chapter, she's so awesome and if you guys are looking for some adorable no-slash Kogan, she's your girl :) Also, thanks for unknowingly letting me borrow the nickname Logie, I hope you don't mind!**

**Second, to Miss Fenway, I know I mention her a lot, but her work is incredible! Thank you for your amazing story, Little Hollow, and I hope you don't mind me borrowing the idea of anemia and cancer, I don't know all that much about Leukaemia so this seemed like the best way to go, and I just realized I've been spelling it wrong. My story won't be as amazing or long as yours, so if you like the idea of the cancer or anything, go check out Little Hollow, because it's an amazing fic :)**

**That's all from me, but hopefully I'll be updating another instalment of Big Time Change tonight, so look out for that!**

**Chapter 3**

_Logan looked up from his shoes moments later to see Mrs Knight standing above him, and he couldn't help it; he stood up and threw himself against the shorter woman, all the tears he hadn't realized he was holding in fell onto her shoulders as he shook with his sobs. Mrs Knight reached up and rubbed his back, and he recoiled, clearing his throat awkwardly.  
"I—uh—I'm glad you guys are here," he said, sitting back down on his chair.  
"Logan," Kendall said quietly as Mrs Knight led Katie out of the room. "you don't have to pretend for us, man, I know this hurts, you don't have to hide it," he sat down beside his friend, putting a hand on his shoulder.  
"Kendall's right," Carlos put in "this has got to sting,"  
"Thanks, Carlos," Logan said grimly.  
"Don't worry, man, Camille's strong, she's gonna be fine."_

__ She's gonna be fine...what Logan would give at that moment for James to have been right back then

_"James is right, bro," Kendall said wisely, as Carlos patted Logan's knee roughly "it might just have been a dizzy spell or something,"  
"It seemed like more than that though..." Logan trailed off as the sound of an opening door interrupted his thoughts. All four boys looked up to see Jo enter the waiting room, followed by a middle aged man whom Logan recognized as Camille's father.  
"Logan," Mr Roberts croaked, spotting the four boys. "What is it, son? What happened to Camille?" Logan stood, mustering all his courage as he faced his girlfriend's father; he couldn't break down in front of him, it would only make the older man worry even more. "She was about to go for her audition, and she just—" Logan took a deep breath "she collapsed, and she hit her head on the ground, and I think it was bleeding. The paramedics arrived and they brought her here." Logan saw James stiffen in his peripheral vision, and watched as Mr Roberts put his head in his hands. Logan could've sworn he heard the older man mutter,  
"Oh, God, no. Please, no,"  
"What is it?" Logan asked, his body tensing. Camille's father sighed,  
"I don't suppose Camille ever told you her mother died?" Jo let out a squeak and Kendall tightened an arm protectively around her shoulders.  
"No," Logan breathed, cursing Camille half-heartedly for keeping something like this from him.  
"We lost her to a life threatening condition, and the one thing that stands out to me was how dizzy and weak she was—" Mr Roberts' words were interrupted as a white clad doctor appeared in waiting area, followed by an anxious looking nurse, clutching a folder to her chest.  
"Michael Roberts?" the doctor asked.  
"Yes?"  
"You are the only member of Camille's family present in Los Angeles?"  
"Yes, sir,"  
"My name is Doctor Stephen Walsh, I wonder if you might come with me so that we may speak in private?" Mr Roberts hastened a glance at Logan, who nodded reluctantly.  
"No," the older man croaked "whatever you can say about my daughter, you can say in front of her boyfriend and best friends. They're the only family Camille has besides me," the doctor took a fleeting look around the room, at the older man, the four boys, and Jo, who was clutching Kendall's strong arm with everything she had. Logan watched Doctor Walsh's eyes fill with compassion as he took a deep breath. "This news is never easy to tell," Logan's chest constricted and he felt his heart beat faster; 'just get on with it!' he thought.  
"Mr Roberts, we've considered the symptoms described by this young man when he arrived," Doctor Walsh indicated Logan, whose head began to throb as he tried to remember what he'd told the paramedics; everything was a blur at the moment. "And we have a few estimations," he paused again, and Logan felt his heart throbbing nervously in his chest. "from what we've gathered from Camille's test results, we can regrettably inform you that Camille has a disease called anaemia." Logan's heart skipped a beat; anaemia was one of the diseases Logan read the most about in his medical books. Anaemia was a disease of the blood, meaning that one has a less than normal red blood cell count, which results in dizziness, nausea and fatigue.  
"Now, anaemia as a solitary can easily be treated—"  
"Solitary?" Carlos asked in unusually small voice, looking around at Kendall and James for an answer, his eyes widening when neither of the boys made eye contact, staring at the doctor.  
"Well, on its own, we can easily treat the anaemia that Camille has, but, unfortunately—" Doctor Walsh sighed, glancing down at his notes "Camille doesn't just have anaemia, her condition, while it is rather common, is extremely difficult to cure. Of course, treatment is possible, whether it works; however, is a difficult question to answer." Doctor Walsh consulted his notes, wiping his brow and meeting Mr Roberts' eyes, compassion filling his own as he spoke._

"_Our test results show that Camille has," the doctor let out a breath "I'm extremely sorry to have to tell you this, but Camille has a condition known as __acute myelogenous leukaemia." _

_Logan's heart dropped to his stomach, he felt his brain whirring in his head as he stood, mouth agape, at the doctor, unable to speak 'leukaemia' he thought, deadly cancer of the blood, treatment is painful and long lasting. He felt himself sweating and his heart racing as everything he remembered reading came flooding back to him._

"_What?" James squeaked, his heap whipping from Logan to Doctor Walsh in desperation, as Jo's choked sobs were muffled by Kendall's shoulder. _

"_Leukaemia—" Carlos and James flinched at the word, and Logan felt his heart drop still further. "is a cancer of the blood," the words penetrated Logan's sluggish brain as he tried to comprehend what all this meant. Camille had cancer; she was going to have to go through all the terrible things he read about in his medical books, she'd have to have the terrible treatment, she'd have to be under constant surveillance, and have to have dozens of tests and hundreds of doctors and nurses dropping in an out of her room all the time. _

"_C—cancer?" Carlos repeated, his voice wavering and his bottom lip trembling as he looked over at Logan. Carlos left James' side wordlessly, making his way over to Logan and wrapping his arms around the other boy and rested his head on Logan's shoulder. Logan felt tears well up in his eyes, but he shook them away vigorously. _

"_Logan," James said, putting a hand on his shoulder "you don't have to be brave, I know this hurts, man," Logan nodded, leaning down and letting his tears fall onto Carlos' shoulder. Logan barely registered what the doctor had said, and just noticed him leave with Camille's dad in his peripheral vision, and he hardly felt Carlos patting his back gently. Everything seemed to have gone numb, and he couldn't think or feel; his brain was moving like a train that had just pulled out of the station and was barely moving, and he just prayed that his heart was beating, because he had no clue if it was actually working._

"_W—where's he going?" he asked numbly._

"_The doctor's taking him to his office, Logie," Kendall said gently "they're going to discuss treatment options," Logan was relaxed slightly by Kendall's use of his childhood name, but, as Logan knew very well, there was always a calm before the storm, and this time, it was the storm from hell. Treatment; Logan knew exactly what the term 'treatment' entailed for Camille, and he knew it was going to be painful and exhausting, but he also knew that there was a possibility that it wouldn't work, and that scared Logan more than anything else._

**A/N: Please review, even though it's crappy :)**


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